If you have a history of trauma your thinking brain may automatically assume: "there's something wrong with me," rather than "there’s something wrong with this situation" when you face stressors today. If your physical limits weren't taught to you when you were a child, or your parents didn't model respecting their own, you may ignore your limits and assume you're just not strong/smart/resilient/capable enough It can happen if you felt pushed to override your own limits to avoid punishment or to receive love.

Denying, suppressing and masking pain, ignoring physiological needs and overriding your own limits can be neurobiological adaptations from your past. When the thinking brain's belief is "you need to do or be more to be complete," you may frequently find your stress arousal limits go to the point of overwhelm and exhaustion.

Forcing yourself to "make it work" in a job you hate, or "doing whatever it takes" for a project, relationship or marriage can drive this cycle. Striving is a way to avoid feeling pain and the longer the struggle is against reality, the more that pain can build. This can set you up for emotional suffering, dysregulation and eventually physical illnesses.

It's sometimes necessary to push yourself outside of your comfort zone to grow. This can build resilience if there's time to recover fully from the activation and complete the stress response. But when you're frequently in survival mode and ignoring your limits, allostatic load builds. This is the wear and tear that accumulates in your mind-body system.

Autonomic awareness gives you the ability to see things as they are rather than internalising you're falling short & should be doing more. You can recognise what your needs are and respect your physical limits. This stops you swinging between the highs of anxiety and overdoing, and the lows of shame and not enough-ness.

You learn to work on an even keel. You learn to see that your responsibility is only to see the current situation as it is and to work with it to the best of your ability. You see that day to day your limits change depending on your circumstances. The aim isn't for perfection. It's for wholeness.

The more clarity you have about the reality of a situation and the reality of your neurobiological limits, the less you'll buy into the belief that there's something wrong with you. You can work with your nervous system, rather than being driven by the fear and shame that drive overdoing and burnout.

It's possible to change the thinking brain's patterns & beliefs that formed in your early years from what your caregivers modelled, and the way they related to your limits. These assumptions don't need to be the blueprint you use as an adult. You can learn to see reality just as it is.

Knowledge is power. Are you ready to learn more about the vagus nerve and the evidence-based tools that can re-regulate the nervous system and improve vagal tone? Join my upcoming Vagus Nerve Masterclass.